“Believing that life interruptions—divine interruptions—are a privilege not only causes us to handle them differently but to await them eagerly.” ― Priscilla Shirer, Life Interrupted This fall did not go as planned. It is that simple. This fall has been a messy series of unfortunate events that have rocked our world. There have been mental health struggles for our oldest, an accidental burn for our youngest, a scary mammogram for me, a stomach bug that won't end, challenging new jobs for both Luke and I, and health problems in our extended family have caused a change in our normal. But, you know what? I am choosing to look at them as divine interruptions.
God has a plan for our lives that we do not know and must learn to trust. That is the life list item I am getting to learn right now. It wasn't planned, but it is deeply present in our daily lives. Our current reality is too big to be a little moment. Rather, it is a season to reflect on the blessings and challenges that we have been given in a new light. It is opportunity to reassess how time and energy are being spent. The life list is still here, but for right now, it is on hold so that my heart can grow and my faith can too. One of the greatest lessons that I have learned this fall is the idea of Sabbath. Our church ran a series on the importance of taking a day off each week to do fill our souls. (Check it out here: Link). This past month and a half, taking a sabbath has been the saving grace in my life. It provides rest for the weary, fills my bucket when I make art, preserves my relationships with my kids, husband, family and friends. I have made a ton of small art pieces on these days, taken naps, and watched movies. Tomorrow we head out of town to go to Disneyland as a family and spend quality time in each others company. Rather than having expectations about what this trip will include, I am looking forward to practicing being present and enjoying each of the moments we are together. There may not be a million rollercoaster rides (I'm sure there will be plenty) but there will be authentic moments to connect over ice cream, rented movies, swimming, and hugs. May your fall be filled with God's blessings. I know ours has.
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After a lifetime of losing and gaining weight, I get it. No matter how you slice it, weight loss comes down to the simple formula of calories in, calories out. Valerie Bertinelli I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. Even at my thinest and strongest, I always worried that I was curvy and big. Over the past few years, my weight has returned to the highest level it has been and I am feeling it. My feet hurt, I have little to no energy, and I had enough. So in March, I decided to join Noom (an online weightless program) and I am proud to say that today I hit my prepregnancy weight! I still have 15 pounds to lose to hit my goal of 15% of my weight gone, but I am proud of where I have come so far. I feel better and have a LOT more energy to do things. I am walking about double the number of steps I was doing before and have to go get some new jeans soon. I am going to do this--not fast but on my terms!
"Doing nothing often leads to the very best of something." -Winnie the Pooh Luke took today off to spend with us on spring break. And what did we decide to do? Nothing! We sat on the couch together and watched FIVE different movies. We cuddled, played brainless games, ordered dinner and enjoyed the time together. It was a perfect day of being imperfect together. True love? Maybe not, but it was true bliss! "That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest." -Henry David Thoreau It has been a week. The first full week of school always brings with it the reality that work of my heart requires patience, perseverance, and plenty of coffee. The excitement of the first week filled with new clothes, new supplies, and seeing friends is quickly replaced with the tiredness of waking up earlier, the realization that last year's academic challenges are still there, and the truth that education is a complex series of decisions that come at lighting speed. This year, a traditionally challenging week, was amplified when I woke up Thursday morning to the horrific news that a former student had passed away at the delicate age of 19. Words cannot express the feelings that come with such tragedy--why? how? why again? Oh, and did I mention sore feet? Oh, how they ache by the end of the day.
So, this Saturday morning, I woke up before the rest of the house. I decided that some self care was in order and I simply took an hour to fill my soul. A hot cup of vanilla cinnamon coffee, a new issue of Bella grace, and the flowers that Luke brought home to me last week, my dear sweet Layla curled up at my feet. Simple pleasures, quiet time, and peace. These will not take away the pain of loss, the stress of starting or the worries of the world, but for a brief moment, they filled my heart with joy and now I am ready to face the world again with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. "Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including YOU." -Anne. Lamott Taking me time is something that I have worked on over the past few years. It is easy as a mom, teacher, wife, to spend all my time and energy giving to others. However, that does not work if the bucket it empty. So, half way through our vacation, I decided to unplug from all of it for a few hours. I used a few left over points from our time share to get a day at the spa complete with a massage and a mani/pedi. It was great to stop the world, stop my mind and truly relax. I loved how calm and peaceful I felt by the end. I need to add this back to my list so that next time I am running on empty at home I can refill the bucket there!
"We humans have lost the wisdom of genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don't allow our bodies to heal, and we don't allow our minds and hearts to heal." -Thich Nhat Hanh I have been running on empty for weeks. Between work, kids, and life, there is never enough time to do everything and my bucket has steadily been draining. Nights turn into restless sleep. Days are a treadmill of "have-to" and "need-to" items getting checked off the todo list. So today, I slept.
We slept in and then Luke brought me pancakes in bed. We drank coffee, played on our phones, watched some Netflix. Before I knew it, my eyes were heavy and back to sleep I went. Luke got me up around noon--we headed to lunch and then to Rock Creek to have a cyst excised. And then, it was back to bed. All I did today was sleep and it was INCREDIBLE! I did not realize how exhausted I was both physically and mentally. I had this item on my list and I am so glad I did--it gave me permission to genuinely rest and relax without the guilt. And you know what? I am putting it right back on the list to do again! "Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of wine." -Thomas Aquinas "Calgone, take me away." Growing up, the commercials on TV told us that if we jumped in a bubble bath, all of the troubles that come with adulating would go away. Fast forward to the 2010's and common wisdom tells us that a glass of wine at the end of the day will do the same thing. So, after what felt like a week that would NEVER end, I decided this afternoon that it was time to tackle "taking a bath with a glass of wine" off the list.
How was it? Relaxing. In a world that is filled with noise and "go, go, go" it was lovely to stop for a while and do NOTHING. The warm water soothed both sore muscles and a bruised soul. The wine was light a yummy--probably a little too sweet for most wine aficionados but I liked it all the same. The best part, taking a few minutes to be calm and realize that the harried pace of Spring in schools will once again move on and it will all work itself out. A new ritual? Probably not. I still prefer showers and beer, but after this long week, it was just what the doctor ordered. |
AuthorAlmost 40 and tired of the treadmill, I am going to LIVE each day as a new adventure while finishing todo items on my life list. Mom, wife, teacher, geek! Archives
May 2020
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