Thanksgiving 2020 finds me coming back to this blog to check in. Life has been such a rollercoaster of crazy though 2020-a pandemic, working from home, dealing with wrenches that life has thrown in my way. Today, I just feel the need to write and recenter on choosing to life life, rather than just survive it. So here are my gratitude list for this year, an update on my list items I have finished this year, and a description of my new word of the year for 2020 (That I am going to start on early!)
Happy Thanksgiving! In a year that has taken so much from so many, I am thankful for the things that this year has given. I am thankful for... -medical workers who sacrifice for our greater good -the slower pace that life has taken -seeing my kids throughout the day -hugs from Luke between meetings -texts, calls, and video chats with friends near and far -wearing comfy clothes every day -a home that protects us from the outside world -our jobs and the security they provide -a golden retriever that shows that we should ask for love whenever the need hits -the healing brought by music and art -a church that has filled our souls from a distance -delivery services and workers who bring things small and large to us -businesses that have adapted and kept going despite the numerous challenges thrown at them -scientists near and far who have worked tirelessly to bring us the knowledge to live with and fight covid -politicians who have made hard decisions to try to keep us safe -sacrifices made by so many to keep things going and keep others safe -technology tools that let us connect to humans when we are physically apart May today, although different, remind us that our lives truly do have blessings that abound. Completed Life List Items Living through a pandemic, finishing items on my list is more challenging than ever intended. However, I have still made a few happen. Here we go: 1)Learn to Make Fried chicken In August when the numbers were looking a bit better, Luke and I went to STIR cooking school and learned to make a full fried chicken meal. I would never have thought that it was that easy. I will probably not make it often, but at least I know how. 2)Max out the Pay Scale After a several year effort, I finally turned in my paper work in July to max out the pay scale. (The timing was great though as this fall I decided not to host clubs due to the pandemic). 3) Give Platelets on Luke's Machine When I donated blood early in the summer, I learned that our blood bank allows us to donate platelets on the machine Luke has worked on so much. So, when asked if I could donate some, I said yes to have the chance. It felt like a privilege to help others and celebrate Luke's professional life in one swing. A New Word The end of November seems to be the time of year when my new word picks me out. This year, my new word for 2021 is going to be Thrive. With SO much outside of our control, we have spent 2020 surviving and I know that the only way to move past this is to set intention to do this. So, starting today, I am going to start constructing my word and intentions to Thrive through whatever comes next. More to come soon.
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"One must maintain a little bit of summer, even in the middle of winter." -Henry David Thoreau Ahhhhh.....summer. It is always a joy for this season to arrive--a time for a break from the normal hubbub of life and time to reset and refresh. This year, it feels odd. After 11 weeks of being home and 8 weeks of remote learning, my house is not messy and my calendar is clear. There are no vacations on the books or big plans for all of the places we will visit. Instead, the next 11 weeks loom with possibility.
The world is starting to re-open. Restaurants open again today for in person dining and summer camps may happen with groups of 10 or less. Most people in our area wear masks when they go out, but that is not the case everywhere. People are still dying--we will hit 100,000 deaths sometime this week in the United States. There are no easy answers as we try to figure out the new normal. Everyone has an opinion and wants to share them. So how will I spend this summer? I am going to come back to my list and look at what I can do! I am going to volunteer one day a week at A Precious Child. I am going to go for walks, make art, teach summer camp from home, and start thinking about how I can transform my class this fall when we return to a "new" normal. Luke is still working from home so I will enjoy having lunch with him and hugs between meetings. The boys and I will find fun things to do too--toady we are going to watch the SpaceX launch to the space station. Summer is here. And we will make room for it--even in the middle of a pandemic. “In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.” - Sun Tzu The stay at home order brought a new opportunity for a different birthday. Inspired by Molly's birthday, we had the Snowy Churro truck come visit our house and then invited friends to drive by and wish Jaxon a happy birthday. And you know what? It was awesome! Our friends showed up in force and we spread out 10 feet apart to visit and enjoy the first day of summer break! It was fun, it was safe, and most of all, Jaxon felt loved!
"Summer has always been my favorite season. I just feel happier." -Zooey Deschanel Where has April gone? It was the fastest, slowest month in my life. Our whole way of life has completely changed, countless numbers have died and we have watched our nation flounder under the pressure.
Our house has not been exempt from floundering. Our home has instantly become an office, three classrooms, a restaurant, a movie theater, a park, a therapists office, and so much more. Most days it has been fine--we have flexed and found ways to make things work. And then, there have been the bad days. Yesterday was one. I lost my business because I wanted normal. I wanted to teach in my classroom, come home to my office/art studio and make art. I wanted to play music loud. I wanted time alone. I wanted a happy hour where my friends and I drink a bit too much so one of our husbands have to come pick us up. (This happens about 2x a year--it is time!). I wanted to go to a baseball game in the sun. I want to hug my mom and my dad and see my students walk across the stages of continuations and graduations. But then, after the storm, I decided to stop and give myself what I could--a few hours alone on the couch watching a show that everyone else in my house hates. And the storm stopped. The clouds cleared and a new plan came. Today I spent the day making space for me. We rearranged our home offices (for the umpteenth time in this house) and suddenly calm returned. We picked up flowers for mothers day and delivered them to Lukes mom. We made plans to drop them for my mom tomorrow. I made plans for happy hour next week socially distanced on porches so I can at least see my humans. And tonight, I made art. I realized that the storms of yesterday bloomed into a fresh start today. And you know what? It is going to be ok. "I used to think I actually was batman." -Justin Timberlake Sometime, pretending to be batman really is the best medicine. Today was my turn for the morning announcements at school for Remote Learning. I picked today was batman day and who wouldn't want to be batman? As soon as the mask came into the house, Jaxon quickly volunteered to play the caped crusader. He recruited his brother to be our cameraman. We spent 30 minutes filming and another 30 minutes using all my cool new tech skills to make this video. And you know you? Pretending to be Batman made our hearts smile too and all of the stress of life melted away for a bit.
Remember, be yourself--unless you can be batman. Then always be batman! “Home is a shelter from storms-all sorts of storms.”— William J. Bennett This week was a storm as the number of Covid19 cases in the world exceeded 1,000,000 with a third of those being here in the United States. Stories of those in hospitals dying alone, of healthcare workers becoming ill, and uncertainty about the course of the disease filled the airwaves and the internet. Colorado ordered an extension of the stay at home order until April 30th and wearing facemarks in public became an expectation. We began teaching remote learning on Wednesday and by Friday it was announced that his new mode of learning would continue until the end of the school year.
Yet, even as the storm churned outside, our home helped us find solace. We enjoyed three meals together a day. We played games. We learned together. We zoomed with those we love the most and we gave each other hugs and LOTs of grace. We will be home for the foreseeable future, but it is okay. I am sharing my quarantine with those that matter most to my heart. We will weather this storm. Together. Not as easy is my job. Teaching remotely is more challenging that I could ever have anticipated. Our district supported an asynchronous approach so that families could do work in ways that make sense for their unique situations. However, that means that as a teacher, my inbox fills from early morning to late at night with questions. Live office hours are filled not with children looking for help but those looking for connection. Meetings that would have taken 20-30 minutes at school stretch to an hour or more. After the first week, I have not yet found a rhythm or boundaries. What I have found, however, is love from my students and our community. That is enough to keep me going until I figure this out. Today we finish our second week of social distancing. In the past week, the US has become the nation with the highest number of cases of COVID19 in the world. Colorado has gone to a stay at home order--we may only leave for essential activities (like grocery shopping) or medical care. For now, no one in our sphere is sick, but I am sure that will change soon enough.
I think that what I miss most is seeing people. We have done our best to socialize digitally--we have hosted trivia nights, a zoom family dinner, happy hour and many calls. But it is not the same. I cherish the time we are spending with our kids--it feels peaceful to spend so much time together. This week the reality of this situation started to really set in as our schools released their plan for remote learning. Yesterday I got to run into my classroom for 30 minutes to grab my materials for an undisclosed amount of time. Prior to going in, you had to use sanitizer, glove up and stay 6 (or more) feet away from cherished colleagues. Seeing their faces was joyful but knowing it may be a long time until we are all together is challenging. I spent the rest of the day in meetings coming up with a plan for what science/engineering can look like from home. I am not sure what the next week will bring, but I am sure that we will weather this storm. "We have lost contact with reality, the simplicity of life."-Paulo Coelho Life is actually really simple. All we need is food, shelter, water, and connection. However, we have, as a society, made it much more complicated. Before the Covid19 pandemic hit us, Mondays were a day filled with anxiety as I rushed to work (usually nearly late) and tried to hit the ground running. After work, there were clubs to run, dinner to cook, hockey for Jaxon, home for homework, and then a show to unwind. Sleep would finally come and then on Tuesday, we'd be up and at it again.
This morning feels different. The world as we knew it is on pause. I slept in, texted with friends, and made a leisurely cup of coffee to enjoy as I signed into the world for the morning. The news isn't good. I can't control others actions, I can't help with shortages in PPE, and I can't help but wonder what will come next. So, instead, I sit here and sip my coffee and notice some simple joys. The quietness of the house The bright blue sky outside my window The way cinnamon pops out in each sip of my coffee The feel of my new hoody on my skin There are limited plans for the day. We will play, go out for a walk, and have family dinner via zoom. I will make some art and work on plans for next week when I become an online teacher. I will give my husband a big hug when he gets home. Life right now is complicated, yet simple. I choose to lean into the simplicity and take a pause from the complexity for a little while. "In karaoke, you don't choose the song; the song chooses you." -Aisling Be a voiceboxkaraoke.com/locations/rino-denver/I love music. I love to sing. Growing up, I was choir from the time they would let me join Mrs. Heer's children's choir until the day I graduated. And then, just like that, my days of public singing went away. Why? I'm not really sure. But when I added this item to my list, it was meant to bring me back to my musical roots and the joy they bring me.
This got to come to life as we went out to celebrate Celina's birthday at the Voice Box. A new take on the classic karaoke bar, the Voice Box lets you rent out a booth Korean style and control the music with your smart phone. After a LOT of beer and white claws, we had a great time belting out nineties music, old country, and a few odd favorites. After our time was up we were having so much fun we paid to stay for another session. Next up, a live performance at the Park Center Lounge! “There is a season for everything under the sun—even when we can’t see the sun.”-Jared Brock Oh dear, sweet blog and my wonderful life list. How I have missed you! The past six months have taken our family through a hard season--one where there was a lot of darkness, a lot of love, a lot of tears, and a lot of hope. At some point, I will write up the few life list activities that we checked of our list over the past 6 months--hello Elton John! Hello Memphis! But for today, I just need to write about the here and now.
The last week has been a whirlwind as the United States has slowly shut down to encourage social distancing as a preventative measure for the Covid19 virus. Little did I know when I walked out of my classroom last Friday that I was really saying goodbye to life as we knew it. I am not sure where the next few months will lead our lives, but I do want to record them so that someday when my grandchildren ask "Where were you during the great epidemic of 2020?" I will be able to share with them a primary source document to use in their class projects. (ok, I'm always a teacher!) Week one of hunkering down was filled with a lot of resting and reflecting on what was happening. I had been teaching about the virus in my classroom since the beginning of January, so I knew that if it did hit the US we were going to be in for a wild ride. Over the past few weeks, we stocked our freezer and our pantry with food and our medicine chest with the needed relief from this respiratory virus. We cleaned the house so we could live in calmness and I helped both of the boys keep up with thinking doing an hour or two of school work. By Wednesday night, I was ready to lose my business--I was lonely and sad about what we were missing. But then, a small miracle brought out the sun. My friend Christy sent a text asking how zoom or google hangouts worked. And we tried it and shared a digital cup of coffee. Suddenly, I could see three of my favorite humans, hear their voices, and realized that we are not alone. That night, we shared our new trick with Luke's parents and on Friday we had a digital happy hour. Suddenly, the sun started to shine on my soul. Life as we know it might be missing, but I don't have to miss life. Today started week 2 of social distancing, and it was a much better day. Like my usual summer schedule, I am committing to doing 4 things each day--1 for my heart, my head, my health, and my home. Today for heart, I finished an art class that had filled my desk for over a month. Then, for my head, I read a book and started to plan for remote learning coming in another week. For my health, we went for a walk and donated blood. For my home, I watched a movie with Luke and made process on our lego Yoda for the boys. Life is different, but it is good. |
AuthorAlmost 40 and tired of the treadmill, I am going to LIVE each day as a new adventure while finishing todo items on my life list. Mom, wife, teacher, geek! Archives
May 2020
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